Dentists

i went to the dentist about two or three weeks ago.

i have the beginning stages of gingivitis. i need to floss, EVERY DAY, and use mouthwash and mints with xyletol in them. i need to brush my teeth in a special new way.

i'm driving myself crazy over my teeth. i'm convinced that they're falling out of my head. i'm convinced my gums are both inflamed and puffy, AND retracting from my teeth as the gum disease takes hold. the first week, i flossed every night until my gums bled. i've since lightened my touch, and the bleeding is almost gone. but that makes me feel like i'm not flossing hard enough. i don't have the special mouthwash yet, but i'm trying to suck on the mints.

my teeth always feel weird. my gums are sore, and they look so funky... i don't know what they're supposed to look like. and i'm afraid its too late and my whole mouth is just going to end up a toothless mass of infected gums. and i'm pretty sure that's not something people look for in a potential mate.

i'm convinced all the flossing is just pushing the bacteria further down into my gums, hastening the decay. i'm convinced my teeth are being eroded.

i'm obsessing over my teeth, and its really, really ugly. and i just want to know that my teeth are going to be all right. i want to know that i'm not going to need reconstructive surgery and dentures because i didn't start flossing until i was twenty-five.

i want to know that i'm going to be all right. and all i have is the taste of mint, and a faint tingle along my gums.

and that isn't enough.