Canned Angst

i would really like to apologize for the last post.

i can't actually quite remember why i decided (it was relatively recently) that queer people aren't just like straights. i do believe it, but there was a catalyzing moment, and i kept putting it off, and now i don't remember it. genius.

i'm tired. i'm tired, and irritable, and i think i'm actually sick. my blood sugars aren't staying where they're supposed to be (i have juvenile/insulin dependent/type I diabetes. have i mentioned that?) and that's usually the main indicator. because truthfully, i could have ebola and be losing body parts, and still just be walking around wondering why i'm in such a foul mood.

this doesn't mean i'm necessarily in a happy place, mind you. but it does mean that i know i'm not reacting to things rationally. and it would explain why i feel so hungry, so exhausted, so weak, so fuzzy and unintelligent (which is really the worst part). it would explain why i want to tear somethings head off. and am just looking for an excuse to go off.

and before you be getting ALLLLL clever on me, yes, i am capable of going to happy places. i have been to happy places, and i do know what they look like. so back off!

but at any rate, i totally phoned in that whole last post. it was poorly organized, and built around an idea i don't even remember. i didn't even bother to look up data on the "facts" i failed to cite. i'm pretty sure they're still true, but i need to at least like, link to wikipedia or something. and i need to write entries when they occur, rather than doing whatever it is that i do, which is basically procrastinating, but infinitely more interesting and deep because i'm doing it.

i should have just checked in and told you all that i haven't died, that i'm not thinking well, and that i don't really know what to say. my standard entry. but i tried to do something i really wasn't up to, and i'm sorry.

but hey. even ridley scott made "gladiator," so i guess i'm allowed mistakes.