What We Are Dealing With

i submit to you, my avid readership (hahahahahahahahaha! HA!), the following example of the great mind that is now (hopefully) entertaining you.

*ahem*

How I Woke Up This Morning

my phone started sounding beethoven's "Ode To Joy" at seven-thirty in the a.m. i reached out to get it, and realized it wasn't on my pillow. i tracked the sound to the foot of my bed, and over it into the cat-box (thankfully poop-free) where i'd managed to kick my phone during the night, after forgetting to plug it in to charge. by the time i sniff it a few times and flip it open, whoever is calling has hung up, as the line is silent. i check my recent missed calls, and the latest one is from my father. i hit the send button, and he answers sounding surprised. yes, he called me, but that was on sunday. today is tuesday. he might stop by the store today, but no. he didn't call me. that's when i realize that "Ode To Joy" is my alarm ring-tone. the "Can Can" is my call ring-tone. no one called me. its just time to like, wake up.

this is what you are dealing with.

i am teh genius...

Other Highpoints of the Day include:

brewing coffee, but leaving the urn's spigot open, so the fresh coffee (decaf espresso roast) poured down from the funnel, into the urn, and out the spout onto the catch-plate on the counter. and then, when the plate filled up, onto the counter itself.

also, i think some middle-aged guy noticed the clip in my hair (its at that awkward length. my hair, not the clip.) and got really angry about it. i was totally nice to him, and looked totally respectable, so i'm assuming it was the clip. process of elimination, right? but yeah. no joke, no confusion, just like, "WHAT the FUCK, man?" grr! angry!

I AM ANGRY WHITE MAN! DO NOT CHALLENGE MY PARADIGM!

sucker... i totally fucked with his world-view...

also, i am in love with natalie dee. go to her site. read her comics. buy her shit.

DO IT NOW!!!

www.nataliedee.com