Well...

i suppose i should start blogging, since that seems to be my job...

that means we have to have introductions. i LIKE introductions! they're the comfortable interval during which you get to know whatever side of themselves a stranger decides to present.

in other words, they're relationships before reality kicks in.

so, my name is Josh, i enjoy sitting inert in coffee shops, overdosing on caffeine and trying to be productive. i don't like using capital letters online, since they just get in the way most of the time. i just don't do it, all right? its one of my many little... whatevers.

all right. so i like coffee, i LOVE diet coke. i have insulin dependent diabetes, which i suppose is important information. at this point, i forget to tell people, and sometimes years can pass before i say anything about it to someone. err... i'm effortlessly charming. i am also devestatingly intelligent, when i'm not acting like a twit. i like acting like a twit. its a form of relaxation for me. and its cheaper than actual vacations.

i am tallish. since my dad is six four, tall is very relative in my family. i'm about six two. i have the strange ability to look like i weigh much less than i actually do. however, since i'm currently suffering from what my psychiatrist calls "MDD," or Major Depressive Disorder, i'm trying to get back into working out six or seven days a week. because oddly enough, physical activity really does help keep you stable and functional.

everything about me is brown. my teeth are a coffee and nicotine-stained tan. (i am constantly fighting to quit cigarettes for good. don't tell my mom.) my skin is a healthy brown that makes people think i am something other than "white jew." i tend to get hispanic a lot. once, south asian. middle eastern is a common misperception as well. my face is bony. by which i mean i have a pronounced brow ridge and a high, thin, angular nose with a bump on it. my cheek bones are also set high and wide. my lips are overly florid. my eye-brows and lashes are unmistakably THERE, and my lashes are curly rather than cow-straight. this seems to matter to some people.

i realize that you can look at a picture of me, which makes all this description rather moot, really. but i have to start somewhere, so i'll just keep going, thank you very much. i might as well make a note of the fact now, rather than later, that while i appreciate your (assumed) readership, i don't actually write "for you." i write for me, and if you happen to enjoy it, awesome. tell your friends. buy the t-shirt. go see the movie. (in theaters this christmas!)

i use a mac, and every day, it gets harder to deal with pcs. don't want to jump on that train, just saying. i like things (including people) to have substance. i like layers of meaning, the space for multiple interpretations. i like complexity and contradictions. this being said, i can be swayed by very pretty things lacking all the preceding good stuff. but it will never last. also, i am a horrible elitist. my own low self-esteem aside, i am hopelessly judgemental, overly critical, and am not above using other people for my own amusement. but to my credit, i usually feel bad after doing so.

i'm also long-winded.

so here's the thing. by way of this introduction, hopefully you've learned a few things about me. mainly, that i... i actually have no idea how to finish this sentence. i just zoned out for a few minutes staring into the middle distance and letting my mind go blank. which was fun, i have to admit.

all right. i need to go do something else now. this entry is effectively over. but its been fun making your acquaintance.

go read something informative, and brush your teeth before you go to bed.