It's Not My Job

but i want to do it anyway.

there are a lot of things in this world, that i want to do or say. there are ways that i want to act. but i try to not do those things, or say them, and i try to not act those ways.

because its not my job.

telling people and institutions how to better do their jobs, is not my job. bossing people around to make them do things more efficiently and effectively (which also benefits me, naturally) is not my job. being the answer to all the questions you don't ask because you don't actually care about getting my advice, is not my job.

all these things, and more, are not my job.

but i want to do them SOOOOO BADLY!!!

particularly right now, when i'm sort of getting stuck in a rut with my job, and feeling trapped, and not sure what my next move should be, even though i'm feeling more and more ready and sure that i need to make a move at all. i swear, sitting on all this stuff makes me just want to jump up and throttle people who aren't, doing, things, RIGHT!

because RIGHT is some objective measure that only i can understand...

well, i'm going to call upon the holy power of the blog, and say a few things that i feel need to be said, even if no one hears them. i need to say them. here we go.

1) people of america; lifting the ban on offshore drilling will do nothing to aid the current oil crisis. it will be at least, AT LEAST, seven years before any oil makes it from those shiny new off-shore rigs to the tank of your car. oh, and the people who own or will own the mineral rights to all that offshore territory? THE SAME FRIGGING CORRUPT OIL COMPANIES WHO ARE CURRENTLY MAKING WINDFALL PROFITS OFF OF YOU! beyond these pragmatic arguments, we would also be much better served by putting money and effort into alternate fuel sources instead of into new drilling. new jobs will be created by both ventures, but new jobs linked to renewable energy sources will be long term as opposed to jobs that dry up when the oil does. in addition, throwing money at renewable energy will wean us off foreign oil, meaning we won't find ourselves mired in the middle east for dubious reasons NEARLY as often. finally, offshore drilling would spoil our coastlines and pollute our waters, and more oil only means the continued pollution of the atmosphere. so do yourselves a favor, and JUST SAY NO TO OFFSHORE DRILLING!

that felt good. that felt really good. i don't even remember what else i want to say. but that one, it felt just sooooo good... cripes...

i just get really fed up with people. i get fed up with my coworkers, i get fed up with customers, i get fed up with my family, and i just get tired. tired, of it all. and then i read polls on aol, and i get more fed up. i get fed up with stupid. i get fed up with shortsightedness. i get fed up with fear, and knee-jerk reactions. i get fed up with crazy.

i REALLY get fed up with crazy.

i get fed up with crazy masquerading as common sense. i get fed up with crazy parading itself as traditional values. i get fed up with crazy cloaking itself in religion.

and i get REALLY FUCKING FED UP with cruel and unyielding self-interest.

people being mean and petty, and trying to advance their own agendas with no thought to others... it all makes me very, very tired.

and part of why it makes me tired, is because i see myself doing it too. i really want to be nice. i want to treat everyone with respect and kindness, even if i don't actually think they deserve it. but i fail. i mess up. i just can't do it all the time. and i bitch and moan about people doing things in less-than-ideal ways, but really, it just means they're doing things in a way that i wouldn't do them, and i think i have the fucking right to organize their lives for them, because i know better.

i get tired of being just as morally questionable and ethically ambiguous as everyone i criticize.

i'm just feeling really fucking done these days, y'know?