Holy Fuck!

all right, so its like, June 24th. how the hell did that happen? i am not good with this time shit. it just fucking flows right past me.

so first, an apology to you peeps. i've been a negligent blogger. which is why i don't have children. i am negligent in general. if i were to have children, you could bet that i would have them taken away from me by the state. which is sad, because it means that i don't even measure up to TEXAN parental standards. even the friggin' cult kids got to stay at the ranch! sad state of affairs. my negligence, that is. the kids going back to the ranch... i'm not fully sure how i feel about that.

so here's the quick breakdown on my absence: i actually sort of hate writing a blog. in all honesty, i don't enjoy having my stuff hanging all out there on the internet. i like privacy. i'm insular, and introverted (though i do a GREAT impression of an extrovert!), and i just don't like the idea of people who might have some form of work-like power over me being able to read this and get their boss panties in a big ole twist. but i've made a commitment, and by god i'm gonna honor it, because that's what i should do. which brings me to:

The Button

you may have noticed the new button on the right of the screen. well, that button leads you to the folks who i blog for. i mean, OBVIOUSLY i blog for you and your pleasure! but the good folks of Blog4Reel are, well, they're good folks. in fact, they're my good friends, who i have actually known for at least a decade. they aren't selling anything, they don't want your money, they're in fact an art and cinema collective who are always looking for fun new ways to insert their creativity into our (let's be honest...) rather boring daily lives. hence, Blog4Reel. hence2, me, here typing the words, in front of your face.

so, i suggest that you pop on over to Blog4Reel, especially if you live in the San Antonio area. and by all means, if you already have a blog, feel free to link it up and get in on the action! the more the merrier! i mean, am i right, or am i fucking right?

all right. before i get down to some serious blogging on this odd odd tuesday afternoon, lets make a little list of some of the major offings in my life. i mean, i like a story as much as the next person (probably more. but it has to be an interesting story. and semi-sexual.) but sometimes, you just can't beat the machine-gun rat-a-tat of a nice, bulleted list.

1) i have officially moved out of the apartment in Austin i was subletting to brother. this brings to a final and official close, my two-year sojourn in that city, which i could NOT be happier about. the sad fact is, i now hate Austin. i hate who i was there, i hate the experiences i had there, i hate the whole goddamned place. it all just gives me the heebie-jeebies. i really and officially freak out and lose my shit at least once whenever i'm there, be it even just a day. i do miss some of the people i met there, but right now, i'm slamming the door shut on that portion of my life and just running in the opposite direction. which is sad, because all this shit is gonna come up behind me and tackle the poo out of me later on. but i'm an adult now. i deal with my feelings and shit. i like, am all at one with my emotions, and dealing with my issues in mature and inspired ways. so when the effects of my current wild psychological immaturity manifest, i'll be all set to deal with them. or something.

2) my first raise at work finally kicked in. i'm pretty much super-stoked about that extra sixty-eight (68) cents an hour. i mean, thirty cents of it was a legally mandated six month raise, but the other thirty-eight cents was merit-based. i earned those thirty-eight cents an hour through grit, hard work, waking up at three in the morning, and basically being the shit. that's right. you heard it here first. i'm, the shit.

3) i've rolled to the end of hell season. spring is a difficult time for me. in fact, for my siblings and me. because due to things just being that way, my brother's birthday (he's a pisces) marks the start of my father's birthday (taurus), mother's day (for biological mom and step-mom (who has baby issues due to her never having a child of her own)), dad and step-mom's anniversary, stepmom's birthday (gemini) and father's day. holy hell. every year, its just like, "whew, i can recoup my losses and have a little time to myseeEEOOOH GOOD CHRIST!" i mean, i truly love my family, everyone in it. and i really want their days to be happy. i want them to feel that they're appreciated, and that they're loved and treasured. i want to get gifts that are personal, and show i know them well, and pay attention to them. i want to spend my time with them, because they deserve it. i want to nourish and celebrate them, because it makes me happy to make them happy. but goddamn, that shit takes a lot of energy!

4) i made plans for a motherfucking vacation. oh, yeah. i made some goddamn plans, man. my original summer vacation got stolen from me by inept planning, misplaced familial priorities, and a strange laziness inspired by extreme busyness. Jews With Guns '08 (Birthright Israel sponsored tour of Israel) was postponed (because we missed the deadlines). The Great White Vacation II (a second family cruise to islands peopled by poor black people who make a living selling coconut monkeys to comparatively rich white people) fell through due to brother needing girlfriend to come along, and girlfriend constantly being busy. so i made my own, motherfucking, plans. it works for my sister, it can work for me too. i will be going to San Francisco on August 18th to visit friend M., who you'll (maybe) remember from my trip to New Mexico. we will see the redwoods, and i will make her drive me back and forth across the golden gate bridge six times in one day, and we will go dancing, and i will explore the city to see if i might move there. M. will start her semester of law school, and i will pick up some hours at local Starbucks shops. we will go to the outside lands music festival in golden gate park, which lasts a full weekend, has twenty acts a day, and is headlined by radiohead, tom petty and the heartbreakers, and jack johnson on friday, saturday, and sunday respectively. then we will go to the beach for labor day, and i will get M. piss drunk on her birthday, and i will fly home on September 4th. i am going to have fun if it kills me, because i totally spent two whole paychecks on this venture. and i am fucking stoked.

5) i met a nice boy online, and we wrote letters back and forth for a week and a half, and then had phone sex. i'm not actually sure how i feel about this one. i'm sort of in the middle of freaking out. but i mean, hey. its more interesting than clipping my toe-nails, which by the way, i REALLY need to do.

6) i'm actively (slowly... but actively!) working on a story that i think i'm going to like a lot. i think its got a lot of good stuff in it, and we'll see how it goes.

excellent. we have a bulleted list. i actually don't even know if those were the things i felt needed to be listed, but maybe it doesn't actually matter. i told you stuff about my life. ta dah. i don't actually know what else to say at the moment, and the site is scheduled for an outage soon, so i'm gonna wrap this up, and just let it sliiiiide. i'm back, chumps. and i'll be seeing ya'. soon.